Random Things I Do/Do Not Hate

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Monday, January 09, 2006

Theories of Doom

Hello, Dave here, 'tis my birthday today so I thought I would rant about some random stuff. I have some theories brought on by my own self importance, they are as follows:

I am the only real person. Everyone else is nought but a Schizophrenic fantasy of my own design. The beauty of this idea is that it is impossible to prove one way or the other, if someone else claims to be real, than I might just claim that that is exactly what a figment would say, as the figments would be convinced of their own realness, as they were created by me , & I had believed they were real at the time, & since they are all figments, there would be no one to tell me they aren't real.

the Entire Universe is a microscopic Blip (Blip: a word describing a very small, random, object, which to the naked eye would appear to be little more than a speck, molocule, or piece of lint) in someone's bedroom, whose entire universe is a blip in someone else's bedroom, Etc. this explanes how the universe is infinite (it isn't), why it's so bloomin' dark (our galaxy happens to be towards the center of the blip), & most interestingly of all, how, after we wash our shirts, they come out with hundreds of little "Shirt Balls" all over them (New Universes being cultured in the "Great Incubater" (laundry machine).

Bill Gates is Satan: he invented Windows, 'nuff said.
OK, need more proof, looks quiet & unassuming, but rips the still beating hearts from the chests of his competitors, figurativly of course. He has a virtual monopoly, & has squeezed it dry, makeing himself the richest man living. his name in ASCII totals up to 666, the Mark of the Beast. Has actually tried to eat my soul. OK, I have no proof of that, but every time I see him, he's got a "just-wiped-the-blood-from-someones-baby-off-his-face" look.

Well, that's all my Irreverent theories for now, expect more to come.

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